I thought the time was right to revisit an old favourite. I decided to watch 1984 again and to re-read George Orwell's classic. I also found this great image on the site Class Warfare Exists .
This week will be a strange one. My best friend (and love of my life) leaves for a whole new life.
I don’t know how much contact we will have or even how often he will be able to get in touch. We are going from contact several times each day to ‘radio silence’ at least for the foreseeable. He will be gone for 2.5 years.
I don’t want him to go, but I do want him to travel and experience the world as I have. I love him, but I can’t limit him. It just feels like there will be a gap in my days that nobody else can fill. I am not even sure when we will be able to visit each other or what he will be like when we do see each other again.
I keep thinking of what Red says about Andy in Shawshank Redemption
“I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice, but still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they’re gone. I guess I just miss my friend.”
Real Love Is Capable of Being Alone.
“One can be in deep love and yet be alone. In fact, one can be alone only when one is in deep love. The depth of love creates an ocean around you, a deep ocean, and you become an island, utterly alone. Yes, the ocean goes on throwing its waves on your shore, but the more the ocean crashes with its waves on your shore, the more integrated you are, the more rooted, the more centered you are. Love has value only because it gives you aloneness. It gives you space enough to be on your own.
“But you have an idea of love; that idea is creating trouble – not love itself, but the idea. The idea is that, in love, lovers disappear into each other, dissolve into each other. Yes, there are moments of dissolution – but this is the beauty of life and all that is existential: that when lovers dissolve into each other, the same are the moments when they become very conscious, very alert. That dissolution is not a kind of drunkenness, that dissolution is not unconscious. It brings great consciousness, it releases great awareness. On the one hand they are dissolved – on the other hand for the first time they see their utter beauty in being alone. The other defines them, their aloneness; they define the other. And they are grateful to each other. It is because of the other that they have been able to see their own selves; the other has become a mirror in which they are reflected. Lovers are mirrors to each other. Love makes you aware of your original face.
Hence, it looks very contradictory, paradoxical, when stated in such a way: “Love brings aloneness.” You were thinking all along that love brings togetherness. I am not saying that it does not bring togetherness, but unless you are alone you cannot be together. Who is going to be together? Two persons are needed to be together, two independent persons are needed to be together. A togetherness will be rich, infinitely rich, if both the persons are utterly independent. If they are dependent on each other, it is not a togetherness – it is a slavery, it is a bondage.
If they are dependent on each other, clinging, possessive, if they don’t allow each other to be alone, if they don’t allow each other space enough to grow, they are enemies, not lovers; they are destructive to each other, they are not helping each other to find their souls, their beings. What kind of love is this? It may be just fear of being alone; hence they are clinging to each other. But real love knows no fear. Real love is capable of being alone, utterly alone, and out of that aloneness grows a togetherness.”
Osho, The Dhammapada: The Way of the Buddha, Vol. 2, Talk #4
I don’t understand why people in my life assume that because I am 37 and single that I have no responsibilities and not a care in the world.
A great assumption amongst people I know is that I am footloose and fancy free. I am not.
Someone told me recently that if
…all my problems would be solved and I would be a better person.
I informed him that
Another person said to me just yesterday that if I lost my job, it wouldn’t be as serious as him losing his job, because he has a wife and child and would lose his house. Newsflash! I lose my job and I could end up homeless too! I am alone and I have nobody to help me should the worst happen.
So my life is not one long party. I have responsibilities too, just a different set to other people.