“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” Paul Coelho - The Alchemist I am grateful, I mean it. I have people in my life that I don’t know what I would do without. I have recently parted company with a few people who I have known and classed as best friends and extended family. I have come to realise that they were emotionally draining. To coin a phrase from another friend ‘Energy-sucking vampires’. I had no choice but to cut them loose. It wasn’t as cold as going through Facebook and having a cull of my list. It had taken me a long time to come to the decision. If there had been any other choice, I would have taken it. Other friends who know what I have been through with these individuals have said “I don’t know why you didn’t do it before!”. So for the people I do have, the people I love….for having them in my life, I am really grateful.
I saw this couple hugging in the street. Rather than feel sick at the very public display of affection, I longed for a time when I will get to hug the one I love. I can go weeks, sometimes months without any physical human contact. I only realise when I see moments like this that London can be a big, lonely place full of lonely people. It has been 82 days since I hugged the one I love. N ❤💋
This week will be a strange one. My best friend (and love of my life) leaves for a whole new life.
I don’t know how much contact we will have or even how often he will be able to get in touch. We are going from contact several times each day to ‘radio silence’ at least for the foreseeable. He will be gone for 2.5 years.
I don’t want him to go, but I do want him to travel and experience the world as I have. I love him, but I can’t limit him. It just feels like there will be a gap in my days that nobody else can fill. I am not even sure when we will be able to visit each other or what he will be like when we do see each other again.
I keep thinking of what Red says about Andy in Shawshank Redemption
“I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice, but still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they’re gone. I guess I just miss my friend.”