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I saw this couple hugging in the street. Rather than feel sick at the very public display of affection, I longed for a time when I will get to hug the one I love. I can go weeks, sometimes months without any physical human contact. I only realise when I see moments like this that London can be a big, lonely place full of lonely people. It has been 82 days since I hugged the one I love. N β€πŸ’‹

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“Life is a continuous exercise in creative problem solving. A mistake doesn’t become a failure until you refuse to correct it. Thus, most long-term failures are the outcome of people who make excuses instead of decisions.”

From ’7 Habits of Highly Effective People.’

My long time failure is choosing to work in Central London and travel like a sardine in a can every day!

People make me nervous. I never used to have fear of anything or anyone. I oozed confidence and it showed. Now since 'The Great Depression' (how I refer to my personal 'black dog' adventures), I find I would rather just sink into the background in a crowd. That's not to say I won't make an effort. I am a nice person (I think) and I like all kinds of human beings. As difficult as I find it, I will be social if I have to be and you would never know I struggle with it. For the most part I really like people. Today I visited 'School of Life' in London. I had been looking forward to this class for over a month. I went straight from the office so I wouldn't be late. I arrived in a sensible skirt and blouse, heels and I walked into a group where everyone was dressed down (so immediately felt weird). I overheard different conversations, but it turned out most people knew each other. They had been on other courses together, met on courses or had come with friends. Their circles were just closing in as the relief hit them. They had found their little groups for the night. Left to stand and make conversation for almost 40 minutes with people looking at me like I just dropped out of the sky was really hard even with my super stress-cloaking abilities. I just wonder why some people are so cliquey and unfriendly :/

All the butterflies, the nerves and not being able to eat/sleep all week has been worth it.

I have the best early Christmas present and he travelled over 3000 miles to be with me. I have never been more happy than I am now. This has been the best weekend ever.

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