About a year ago, I wrote a blog called ‘Lost in Time’. I talked about the difficult times I had endured and what it was like to claw my way back to something resembling reality.

Even now as I read back through it I can see that I was changing, evolving, growing. I guess when we are young, adulthood sneaks up and takes hold without us realising. That being said, I still never considered myself to be a true ‘adult’ until I was married. Even then I was immature and still wanted to live life to the fullest. The life I shared with my partner wasn’t enough for me. I wanted to grow and fly – he wanted everything to stay the same and grow roots. We were both so very different.

When I wrote that entry, I was really looking forward to a possible new relationship, and all that life had to offer. I was ready for whatever opportunities came my way. Maybe I was a little too hasty. I soon realised that I actually wasn’t ready and needed to take a step back again. I did that and it was for the best.

In a year I have changed so much, I don’t really recognise that person from before. Rather than suddenly evolving, I am now fully aware of the changes and I embrace them, I am like a butterfly. For now I am happy to be single. I know that maybe I should be thinking about babies and settling down, but if that is not in the grand plan for me, then that is okay too. I will deal with it.

If it was important for me to love someone, as I said in my previous blog, I have realised that it is even more important to love myself first. I am no good to anyone if I don’t care about me. I love the people in my life who are important, and I tell them all the time.