This is a little glimpse at what I have to deal with when I travel to work. I have been taking photos for a few days.
I can’t believe there hasn’t been more on the London news about the severe delays which have hit the District Line (the green line for any non-Londoners) for the past three days. Also the other line on the ‘axis of evil’, the Jubilee Line (the grey one) which was down from about 5pm yesterday and for most of the evening. When the SW Trains service towards Wimbledon is also not working (two evenings this week due to signal failure) it doesn’t leave you with much options but to sit it out.
I swapped a fairly comfortable (if long) journey from Brighton, East Sussex at the end of last year for the devil’s armpit that is travelling from Putney, SW London to Canary Wharf.
I have no clue how things will be during the Olympics. My advice to anyone coming here for the games is get walking! Avoid the Jubilee Line at all costs!
The upside is that my bike is getting more use now than it ever has – so maybe that is the silver lining to this grey cloud.
About a year ago, I wrote a blog called ‘Lost in Time’. I talked about the difficult times I had endured and what it was like to claw my way back to something resembling reality.
Even now as I read back through it I can see that I was changing, evolving, growing. I guess when we are young, adulthood sneaks up and takes hold without us realising. That being said, I still never considered myself to be a true ‘adult’ until I was married. Even then I was immature and still wanted to live life to the fullest. The life I shared with my partner wasn’t enough for me. I wanted to grow and fly – he wanted everything to stay the same and grow roots. We were both so very different.
When I wrote that entry, I was really looking forward to a possible new relationship, and all that life had to offer. I was ready for whatever opportunities came my way. Maybe I was a little too hasty. I soon realised that I actually wasn’t ready and needed to take a step back again. I did that and it was for the best.
In a year I have changed so much, I don’t really recognise that person from before. Rather than suddenly evolving, I am now fully aware of the changes and I embrace them, I am like a butterfly. For now I am happy to be single. I know that maybe I should be thinking about babies and settling down, but if that is not in the grand plan for me, then that is okay too. I will deal with it.
If it was important for me to love someone, as I said in my previous blog, I have realised that it is even more important to love myself first. I am no good to anyone if I don’t care about me. I love the people in my life who are important, and I tell them all the time.
As I go through all kinds of feelings and experiences in my journey through life — delight, surprise, chagrin, dismay — I hold this question as a guiding light: “What do I really need right now to be happy?” What I come to over and over again is that only qualities as vast and deep as love, connection and kindness will really make me happy in any sort of enduring way.
~ Sharon Salzburg
I had an experience yesterday that made me sit down and laugh, not because the situation was funny but because it was the type of moment where the likelihood of it happening is maybe 6 billion-to-1 (okay, I made that up but I never said I was a statistician).
I had a moment where I was contacted by my past, present and if I wanted it to happen, my potential future. I sat on the bed and couldn’t believe what I was seeing, almost simultaneous contact via email, text and IM. It reminded me of Scott Pilgrim fighting “The League of Evil Ex’s”…except they weren’t all ex’s and for the most part, they are not evil (well there is one that the jury is still out on…)
It helped me come to a huge realisation about being used. I am 36 at the weekend and I feel good that I have been able to let go of my past. I made a decision to close the door on the potential future because I am now able to recognise traits in people and to see what could become a recurring bad habit. I am not so needy that I will allow myself to fall into destructive relationship situations again.
I need to stop trying to influence what may or may not happen. If I concentrate on what works for me in the present, right now, my life will be happier. The past is just a reference point. The present moment is all that matters.